Should have listened.

I fell down at work today. Total face planet into the carpet. I am not sure what happened, but I should have listened to Allie, "...and don't fall down."

Thanksgiving Trip

As with any activity that requires us to leave the house, there is always adventure and humor attached to it. This past week we went to see Jenny's folks for Thanksgiving. This meant a plane trip. For at least two weeks prior to the trip, Hannah prayed that the plane wouldn't crash...she's 5, why is she even thinking about it? I need to limit her TV time.

Besides looking like a train wreck going through security, Allie decides she needs to "do it herself" in preparing for the march through the metal detector. She sits on the floor and pulls of her shoes and coat. Then she runs up the the bins and tosses them in. Unfortunately, she put them in some other lady's bin on top of her laptop!

We then proceed to make the long walk all the way to the Southwest gates at the very end of the terminal. All the while, a spectacle for everyone to behold. The girls run ahead looking for our gate number. As we reach the gate, the girls head left while Jenny and I head right to our gate.

We call the girls over to us and Madi and Hannah go plowing through the middle of a row of seats. Since they are not shy, they stepped (or attempted to crawl) around everyone. Allie on the other hand is too short to see where everyone went. She just hears my voice. So, I call her again.

Since she still can't see me, I walk half way to her until she can see me. She makes eye contact with me and then the little punk starts looking up at the ceiling (like angels are calling her) yelling, "Dad? Dad? Where did you go? Dad? Dad? Where are you?"

Half the airport thinks I ditched my kid and the other half is laughing hysterically at us.

P.S. Right before we boarded the plane, Allie runs across 8 chairs to a guy on a cell phone to exclaim, "I got a new scooter for my birthday!"

Can you teach shyness?

Daily Routine

Monday through Friday, we do almost the same thing every day. The girls wake up between 6:30 and 7 am (heaven help me on that!) I roll out of bed shortly after them. Sometimes I watch a few cartoons with Allie or if I am in a hurry, I hit the shower.

Jenny gets up and starts getting the kids ready for school. Around 8 am, we sit down for breakfast. After breakfast is teeth brushing time. Following the teeth brushing is family prayer (which is always interesting). Then we do a family hug and good-bye kisses for Dad.

About 4 months ago, Allie decided to add a little spice to the routine. As I descend down the stairs to the garage she hollers, "Bye Dad! Do good at work! Have fun and don't fall down!"

Good call. Falling down at work sucks.

Favorite Quote

Allie has two things she loves to say these days. Both make me laugh when delivered with her three year old lisp.

Anytime she sees a bug she says, "Dad, flies eat pooop." (she draws out the ewww in poop)

Second favorite...

As we drive in the car, if it starts to stink outside she says, "Dad, what's that smell?"

"I don't know Allie, what is that smell?"

"It's cow pooop."

Tough

Yesterday, Jenny had to run to the airport to pick-up her Mom. I thought I would help out by taking a long lunch to pick Hannah up from school and take her to lunch. First off, that kid can talk. She has also started to develop her trashing talking skills thanks to me!

We decided to hit Red Robin for lunch. We ordered some milkshakes. Hannah opted for chocolate and I went for the strawberry. When the shakes arrived, Hannah dug right in and ate all the whipped cream in one bite (she might have gotten that from me too). She then proceeds to peel the wrapper off her straw like it's a banana. Being pretty proud of herself she says, "Hey Dad, see what I did?"

"Yeah, that's pretty cool."

"So Dad, do you think you are tough enough to do that?"

Am I tough enough to rip the paper off the straw? It hurts that she had to ask!

Fast Sunday

Have you ever been talking with your kids and realized you failed to explain something to them, but you've been talking to them about it for months. "Fast Sunday" is the topic I forgot to explain to Madison.

We are sitting in church and the girls are eating their snacks. We don't start challenging the kids to fast until their 8. Madi is still a few months away. Being the sweet little angel that she is, Madi offered me a fruit snack. Since it was Fast Sunday, I respectfully declined the snack and explained, "Thanks sweetie, but today is Fast Sunday."

Since I've never really explained Fast Sunday, Madi got a huge smile on her face and said, "You mean we get to leave right this meeting?"

Although I thought that wasn't such a bad idea I said, "No, we go without food on Fast Sunday."

Still trying to work it, she replied, "Right, so we need to be fast and get home so we can eat!"

If only it worked liked that.

15 minutes

A sense of time is something that takes quite awhile for kids to get a firm understanding of. Allie still has no clue. We've been telling Allie that Mommy's birthday is next and then her birthday is after Mommy's. That made total sense to her.

Jenny's birthday came and it was a good day (minus the scheduling conflicts I caused). The next day Allie announces at the breakfast table that she is ready for her birthday party to start...in 15 minutes. It's was still two weeks away.

For the next two weeks Allie invited everyone she saw (old, young, friends, strangers) to her birthday party that would start in 15 minutes.

Poor kid...it was probably the longest 15 minutes of her life!

Soccer or Clean

It always amazes me at the choices people make. Everyone has a different way of looking at things. Take Madison for example.

It's Saturday morning and I have made the painfully stupid mistake of signing my family up to clean the church building on Jenny's birthday. As if that wasn't dumb enough, I also double booked the cleaning with Hannah's soccer game. (This is why Moms run the house and not Dads).

Since it was Jenny's b-day, she opted to take Hannah to her game and let me clean the church. Allie choose to go see Hannah play soccer. Madison was asked which she would prefer, church cleaning or Hannah's game. I thought it was a no brainer. Madison thought for a moment and said, "Well, since I love Jesus, I better go clean the church."

I was so impressed. She then followed it up with, "Do we get to use those grabber things so we don't have to bend down to pick up the trash?" Ahh...the truth comes out...Madi just wanted to use the grabber.

Jack and the Girls

Jack is 5 months now. This picture is a few months old, but I think it shows off the kids personalities pretty well.

Going Poolside

For those of you that have seen me in the past 10 years, you know that I am fat. There's no hiding it. Madison, in her innocence, has not noticed. Could be that I've been a large man for her entire life.

That being said, Madison has decided to create a list of all the family activities that she would like to do before school starts. One is to go to a public pool. Jenny tries to graciously explain that "Daddy isn't big on going to the pool."

Madison does not accept this answer and asks the age old "Why not?" I quickly reply, because Dad is fat and shouldn't be seen in a swimsuit. (I say it more in teasing, I really am not a girl).
Bless her heart, Madison comes running across the room and gives me a hug saying, "Don't worry Dad. When I went to the pool with Aunt Jen, I saw lots of fat people in swimsuits. I am sure you would look just as good as them!"

Guess I have to go to the pool.

Back to School

I like my job. I think I have a pretty good job. It pays the bills, gets me home at a descent time and has great perks. For some reason I get the vibe that my kids feel differently.

It's Saturday night dinner. Everything is very casual. The kids have been scattered around the house doing various activities. Madi and Hannah have been watching tv. Usually they are watching something we Tivo'd and skip through the commercials. Evidentally, this was not the case today.

As we are trying to figure out who-gets-what leftovers, Madison says, "Hey Dad, have you ever heard of Eagle's Gate College?"

"Umm, no." I replied.

"Well, you can go back to school there and get training for a better job."

"Thanks Madi, but I already have a good job."

"But, they get you out of your deadend job and into a job that can take you places."

I am seriously cutting back on the amount of tv that kid gets to watch.

Batter Up!

Madi and Hannah opted to play softball this year. Actually, Hannah is too young for softball and tee ball, so she played kickball.

Both the girls said they enjoyed playing ball alot more than soccer. Both agreed there was too much running in soccer. Since Madi has never played softball, Jenny, the resident softball pro decided to practice with her. Madi had a great season. It overlapped with Jenny's city league games. Close to the end of the season, Jenny took Madi to watch one of her games.

"Favorite" Aunt Jen was also playing and it was her go at bat. Jen stepped up to the plate and was totally in the zone when Madi (keep in mind she has my volume control) decided she needed to pass on some words of encouragement to Jen.

"You can do it Jen!" Madi yelled. Then came the coaching, "Bend your knees Jen!" Followed by, "Keep your body turned! Keep your eye on the ball!" Jen, the umpire, the pitcher, and everyone else got a good chuckle.

Then it was Mom's turn up to bat. The first pitch was pretty weak, so Jenny let it go by for ball 1. With that, Coach Madison was back in action shouting, "Hey Mom, it's alright, but next time don't forget to swing!"

You gotta love a good coach.

Deep Thoughts by Madi

Sundays are long days for us. The kids get restless, so Dad gets frustrated, so Mom makes everyone go for a walk to burn off their energy. So with the standard drama of trying to find shoes, not taking toys, and double checking the potty stop, we are out the door.

It's a pretty warm evening so I am carrying Jack, while Jenny herds the girls. About 1/3 of the way through the walk I notice that my boy, my only man child has chucked on my shoulder. Of course, it's a black shirt and white spit-up. So, I announce to the entire neighborhood, "Ahhh, Jack just barfed on my shirt."

Jenny, Hannah, and Allie couldn't care less. However, Madison is there to support me in my time of need. She looks up at me and provides her own words of wisdom. "Man Dad, that stinks! It sure would have been nice if Jack had spit-up in the bushes."

"Yes Madison, that would have been nice."

A Quick Clarification

So, I think something is seriously wrong with my girls. Maybe I am to blame. Here's the story:

Once again, picture Jenny driving the girls home at the end of a pretty long day. Jenny is reviewing the expectations for getting ready for bed once we get home. It's a fairly simple list:

1. Go straight to your room and put your jammies on.
2. All clothes are dirty and need to be put in the hamper.
3. Brush your teeth and go potty.
4. No fighting.

Once Jenny declared rule number 4, she added, "This means no fighting, no yelling and screaming, no touching each other...etc."

Then Madison pipes up from the back seat, "I guess that means no wedgie wars too?!?"

Why are my kids obsessed with cramming their sister's undies up their tushies? It's totally Jenny's fault!!!

Everything in it's Order

***Disclaimer***

This next story is too funny not to post, but please don't bring it up in front of Madison.

So, last week I had to take a business trip to Denmark. Of course, Madison does one of the funniest things she has ever done and I missed it. On one of the days I was gone, Jenny was running her standard parent errands. This included picking Madison up from school. Madison is hops into the car and says, "Mom, let's hurry home, okay?"

As any mother would, Jenny asks, "Why do we need to hurry home?"

"Well, today after my shower I forgot to put on underwear, so we need to hurry home to I can get put some on!"

Holding back the laughter Jenny inquires, "So, you don't have any underwear?"

Madison replies, "I forgot."

"Did you tell anyone at school that you forgot to wear underwear?"

"I told my teacher that I forgot."

"What did she say?" Jenny continued.

"She said that after school, I should hurry home and put some on."

Madison...the commando!

Confidence or Conceited?

Sunday was a sick day for Hannah and me. Jenny took Madi and Allie while I chilled at home with Hannah and Jack. Jack slept. He always sleeps. Hannah wanted to play Mario Party 8 on the Wii.



While she played the Wii, I messed around on the computer. She very excitedly told me she was winning at Mario Party 8. Doing what I think any good father would do, I encouraged her to keep going.

Hannah then asks, "Dad, I'm so good aren't I?"

I smiled, "Yeah, you are pretty good."

To which she proclaimed, "I might be the greatest in the world!"

Dream Job

This past week I was in the kitchen talking with Jenny about how sweet it would be if our company's stock was valued like Google or some other out-of-control public company. Madison must not have caught on to what I was talking about because she piped up with a new career path for me.

"Hey Dad! I know what you could do for a new job!"

"What should my new job be Madi?"

In her most serious of voices, "You should work at Sam's Club!"

Wondering why I should make this abrupt career change I asked, "Why's that?"

"Because that way when Mom and me are shopping at Sam's Club, we can come visit you on your aisle and see how your doing!"

Madi got extra dessert that night.

Man, they learn fast!

Little Allie continues to amuse me. This next entry may reflect poorly on my parenting skills, but it's too funny not to share.

Poor Allie ran over her hand while riding her tricycle. Honestly, I don't know how you crash on a trike, but she did. Her injuries were very minor. She actually ran over her finger and had bruising under the fingernail.

Of course, it is her middle finger that she smushed. As you might imagine, Allie now flips everyone off when showing them her boo-boo. I find this to be humorous. I know I shouldn't, but I do.

Jenny and the girls came to my office for lunch last week. While there, my office neighbor, Veronica, came in to say hi to the family. I asked Allie to show Veronica her owie. Of course, she refused and I was left to bribing my 2 year old. After offering her some candy, Allie willing gave Veronica "the bird". It brought a good chuckle to everyone and Allie got her candy.

About 3 minutes later, Allie again ran up to Veronica. In one quick motion she flips her off saying, "See my owie!" Allie then immediately turns around sticks out her hand and says, "I have more candy now?"

Maybe I should have thought that through a bit more.

Home Teaching Companion

Our ward recently split and I have a new home teaching companion. Just like any typical month, I waited until the last Sunday to do my home teaching. Unfortunately, my new companion had other plans and went North that Sunday.

Being a diligent home teacher, I set my appointments anyway and off I went. Since our ward constitutes only half of our neighborhood, most of my families are within walking distance. My first appointment was 4 houses down the street.

I am sitting in my first appointment, I've been there between 5 to 10 minutes and we are enjoying the "catch-up" conversations. All of the sudden their front door swings open (their house is layed out exactly like ours) and we hear "Hi guys, I'm ready to play!"

Lo and behold, little Allie has wandered out of our house, dinked around as she strolled down the street and walked right into the neighbor's house.

Hmmmm...maybe I need some sort of talking door that announces when my kids are coming and going.

The Contest

I am not sure how they started it, but the girls had a self-inflicting wedgie contest the other day. Allie won.

Jack is here!!!

Baby Jack arrived at 1:30 a.m. this past Thursday!

Discipling Allie

Without question, Allie is our child with the most attitude. She's a total rebel. Every time you ask her do to something (or not do something) her first response is "no". You can even trick her by asking, "Do you want a treat?" Her first response is, "no...uhhh...yes".

So the other day we had another rebel moment. I can't remember what she did, but she earned herself a trip to time-out. When she arrived at the designated corner, she threw herself back and laid prone on the floor, screaming. Too bad for Allie, because that's not the way we do time-out at our house.

So I picked her up and took her to a new corner. She wailed through her 3 minute time-out. After which, I sat her down and did the all important parental review with a touch of love. So we talked.

If you have ever tried to have a serious conversation with a 3 year old child, you know it's challenging at best. This time was different. I was making a connection. She was staring up at me totally focused on what I was saying. We reviewed why she went to time out and how it was bad and that she shouldn't do it again. I told her I still love her, but she can't behave the way she did. It was an amazing Daddy-daughter moment until...she stuck out her little finger and said, "Daddy...boogie in your nose. I get it for you." And up my nose went her finger.

Yeah...my message really got through.

Hannah's Prayer

So tonight as we put the kids to bed, I was in the room as Hannah was saying her bedtime prayer. Hannah has become very proficient in her prayers. She thanks Heavenly Father for all her stuff. She asks Him to make sure the new baby doesn't hurt Mom (because Jenny is very uncomfortable). She asks that her sisters will be good and listen. She thanks Him for everything.

In fact, she thanks Him for everything she has multiple times. Tonight she finished up her prayer with, "And thank you for everything we have, You're the best!"

I think that sums it up.

Dora, Dora, Dora

I'm not sure what the household average is for watching television. Overall, I thought we were doing pretty good. Then Allie changed that perception for us.

As with most 2 year olds, Allie is obsessed with Dora. If it's not Dora, then it's her cousin Diego. Then it's back to Dora. As good parents should, we try to limit the time she spends watching TV. During non-TV times we try to get her to do learning activities. We work on numbers, colors, and other stuff.

I had no idea what a powerful influence Dora is. Allie is sporadically counting to 5. But the other day, as Jenny was jotting down the next week's menu, Allie starts counting, "Uno, dos, tres, quatro, cinco, seis, sieta, ocho!" What the pickles! She can count to eight in Spanish, but she doesn't count in English.

I can't decide whether to ban the TV or double the time she spends in front of it.

What Grown-ups say

So a few weeks ago, we had the carpets cleaned, never buy a house with white carpet. So Jenny and the girls have been banished to the basement as the upstairs carpet dries. Jenny is working on a quilt for the baby and Madi is in the room working on her homework.

As she is working Jenny finds a mistake in her quilt square. In her frustration she says, "Darn it pickles!" Literally, she quoted Higglytown Heros and said, "Darn it pickles!"

Madison looks up from her homework with a slightly confused face and said, "Mom, I thought grown-ups say, Oh crap!"

Holy Pickles, kids hear everything!

Diet Time

How do you know when it's time to go on a diet? Maybe it's when your pants d0n't fit. Maybe it's when your shirt buttons scream for mercy. Maybe your 2 year old and 4 year old help you out.

Allie's new source of entertainment when I carry her is to gently pinch my cheeks and say in a very soft voice..."Chubby cheeks. Chubby, Chubby, Chubby."

I also started the new Nu Skin weightloss program. It has meal replacement shakes. So as I was making an afternoon shake, Hannah asked me what I was doing. I responded, "Making a shake."

"Can I have one?" she asked.

"No, these shakes are so Daddy isn't fat anymore." I replied.

I then proceed to join my family at the table for lunch. Sipping my shake, Hannah says, "Dad, I can still see your fat."

I guess I need to drink more shakes.